My thoughts, as they happen, as I give 'Biophilia' a courtesy listen.
"6:24 PM: Approaching the leak of 'Biophilia' with an open a mind as possible - I told myself I'd give it one listen through when it leaked to see if, perhaps, there was something to salvage or it turned out to be not so bad after all. 1 minute in and I have a feeling this is an exercise in futility. (Wait, open mind. Dammit, this is going to be hard.)"
"6:30 PM: I can't do this. This is shit.
Now it's a test to see how long I can last."
"6:36 PM: All I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs for all the world to hear:
'FUCK YOU YOU STUPID CUNT!'
Good thing we're moving tomorrow. This house has now been tainted with the sounds of this album and no amount of exorcism will get it clean. Good luck to the young chap who bought it."
"6:44 PM: "Dark Matter" - halfway there, I can do this! - is like..."Ancestors" or something dreadful like that off of 'Medúlla' with a droning organ behind it. The organ, of course, is playing in a different key than the chorus of wailing Björks because, you know, it's art.
"6:49 PM: Now there's something like...circus breakbeat? Why am I doing this to myself again?"
"6:51 PM: "Like a mushroom on a tree trunk when the proteins starts to transmutate, I knock on your skin and I am in."
You couldn't make this up."
"7:00 PM: I honestly cannot believe what I'm hearing - or that I've lasted this long. This is a new level of terrible."
"7:04 PM: OK, here's something. The loud-y parts of "Mutual Core" aren't bad. Trite, absolutely, but somewhat enjoyable in the context of things.
Or, perhaps ,this is some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. Awww, you're trying, I'll give you some sort of credit. Like a teacher with a pupil who clearly doesn't get it but is at least making an effort."
"7:12 PM: That was one of the most painful album listening experience I have ever had. I feel like I need to get into a scalding shower and cleanse myself.
I can never unhear that, but hopefully I can save others from the same fate."
They say every experience makes you stronger. I have no idea what I've taken away from this, outside of: she's always been like this, hasn't she? That is the hardest part of all of this.
Björk, I will see you in hell. You've already provided the soundtrack.